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  • Renee Rugile

4 life lessons that every therapist wants their clients to hear

The New Year is often a time to set goals and re-ignite drive. Setting goals can be helpful, but it is important to take time to honor our truths at every chapter and reflect on where our journey has taken us. So as we gear up for 2022, here’s just a few take a ways I have gathered from the last 10 years as a therapist, mom, and military spouse.


1. Make yourself a priority.


Read that again, but this time with a little more enthusiasm. This is in no way selfish. The truth is, if you are not taking care of you, you cannot take care of others. It might seem like you can but you also put yourself at risk of becoming resentful and disconnected from both yourself and your community. Date yourself, speak your own love language, and leave yourself love letters. When we are kind to ourselves, the ability to treat our mind and body like a temple comes a little smoother

2. Enter spaces that are worthy of your energy.


By spaces I mean work, friendships, and communities. I have learned a lot about spaces that spark my joy and creativity. In these spaces I show up as my best self, committed to the work I do and the connections I make. In these spaces I also feel a healthy sense of challenge and drive to commit to change. I mean really, I show up as playful and unapologetically me. As someone who moves quite frequently I have realized that these spaces don’t always exist. So with that said, I no longer force my chair to sit at tables that are not worthy of my energy. I have found comfort in building my own table, my own chairs, and inviting like-minded individuals to sit with me, beside me.


3. The idea of “good and bad” is saturated in shame and essentially constructed to enforce us to follow societal norms.


Do I still use the phrase “good and bad”, yes, but I also am much more conscious of when I am using the term good and bad and the impact it might be having on me and my world view. Instead I try to see:

  • That people are basically doing the best with the tools that they have.

  • It doesn’t always have to do with me. Others are going through difficult seasons and sometimes it reflects in their interactions.

  • Maybe instead- it just isn’t for me in this season of my life.


4. Therapy isn’t the only tool for self-development.


Yes that is correct, a therapist just told you that therapy is not always the way. I do think therapy can be incredibly helpful and can give you awareness and the support needed to commit to change. I also recognize that therapy can be a scary journey to begin so I fully am in support of “gateway” growth opportunities. This includes books, podcasts, support groups, finding like-minded communities, social media that inspires and educates, sugar packets that have beautiful quotes. If you look hard enough, inspiration can be found all around us.




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